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JULES: I love you, Rue, but there's no fucking way I'm doing that. We're just gonna take things really, really slow.ĪSHTRAY: It's all good, I've been doing this for years. We had a very long conversation about everything, and. LESLIE: Baby, just take your time, you've come a long way. LESLIE: Rue said you got sick on the Gravitron. LESLIE: You two have a good time at the carnival? But I can't do both, because Jules won't have me. And you know what would be better? Jules and Fentanyl. There's not a thing on planet Earth that compares to Fentanyl. RUE: But honestly, the best thing I've ever had is Fentanyl. RUE: Nothing in the world comes close to opiates. It was the fact that she knew, no matter what he did, she'd still love him. And when she got home that night, she felt sick to her stomach. RUE: It's like, the root of a lot of violence. Especially because he was coming to terms with his sexuality.
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But because of who he was as a person, she was afraid he'd hit her back. And sometimes, Maddy fantasized about punching Nate. But honestly, those were all times when Nate and her were on a break. And the hot dude who ran the roller rink. And that stockbroker guy with the family who lived on Oak Street. RUE: Except for that DJ who said he opened for Calvin Harris. Every now and then she'd find herself, in like, a gray area. RUE: She did worry about the whole monogamy thing though. Because if you make a guy feel confident and powerful. She wanted Nate to feel good about the way he fucked. Sometimes during sex she would imagine she was a ventriloquist controlling her body, moving her hips and arching her back in just the right way. But if you analyzed it really closely, there were a ton of really good secrets. Not because it turned her on or anything, it didn't. RUE: Seriously, Sharon Stone in Casino was like, Maddy's spirit animal. But the cool thing about Sharon Stone in Casino is that she ran the fuck over De Niro. They want something they can own and possess. But that's the thing about guys like Nate.
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RUE: Plus it's not like anyone could feel the fucking difference. NATE: What about, like, have you ever been fingered? RUE: She could tell by looking in Nate's eyes how much it meant to him. RUE: Which in retrospect, seems kind of rape-y and weird, but honestly, she was the one in control. RUE: Because the truth-truth is that when she was 14, on vacation in Panama City Beach, she met a guy who was like, 40. Granted, she didn't always tell the truth. Like, flowers every day kind of gentleman. She had had a thing for Nate for a while before he finally asked her out. And strangely, none of them had confidence. I mean, they may have had children to raise or like, homes to decorate, but at the end of the day, they literally did nothing. And what she realized was that none of them actually did anything. She'd pay attention to what they wore and what they'd talk about. She used to sit and study the women who came in. And the people who kneel in front of the foot bath. The people who sit in the chairs, with their feet in the foot bath.
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She quickly realized that there are two kinds of people in the world. And her dad was a drunk who was always pretending to hold jobs longer than he did. Her mother was an esthetician, which is a fancy way of saying she gave pedicures to rich people. She was just interested in doing what she did, just without school and the other bullshit. Maddy would never say it out loud, especially not today because everybody's so political, but she never really had any desire to have a career or job. But then she realized how much she liked not doing anything. She refused to eat for a week out of protest. RUE: Her dreams were dashed by some random 50 year old creep who didn't molest her, let alone ever meet her. NEWS REPORTER: A beauty pageant coach, Marcus Cutler, was arrested today on 18 counts of child molestation. And she probably would have gone on to win Miss Universe. That's why she loved pageantry, because you didn't have to be the prettiest, or the tallest, or the blondest, or the whitest. She just knew that she had something special.
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For as long as Maddy could remember, everybody loved her. RUE: Maddy knew who she was from a very early age.